Let's be shameless. Be greedy. Pursue pleasure. Avoid pain. (Avoid pleasure, pursue pain?) Wear and touch and eat and drink what we feel like. Tolerate other women's choices. Seek out the sex we want and fight fiercely against the sex we do not want. Choose our own choices. And once we break through and change the rules so our sense of our own beauty cannot be shaken, sing that beauty and dress it up and flaunt it and revel in it: in a sensual politics, female is beautiful.

pwn

Dude. I have the greatest gym playlist ever created. Yes, I am that confident that my playlist reeks of fabulousness. My genres on iTunes include Alt-folk, R&B, Alternative, Rock, Rap, Celtic, Ballad, and Eurodance.
Like I said. It's a think of beauty.

I'm going to post it. Because I don't ever want to forget "Gym List II".

Stop - Spice Girls
If U Can't Dance - Spice Girls
The New Workout Plan - Kanye West
Last Resort - Papa Roach
I touch myself - Divinyls
Umbrella - Rhianna
Jesse's Girl - Rick Springfield
New Soul - Yael Naim
TNT - ACDC
Home for a Rest - Great Big Sea
Shot Through the Heart - Bon Jovi
Dirty Deeds - ACDC
Dirty Little Secret - All-American Rejects
Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson
Feel Good Inc - Gorillaz
Solsbury Hill - Sarah McLachlan
London Bridge - Fergie
All of your Love - Hellogoodbye
I'se the Bye - Great Big Sea
Two of Hearts - Stacy Q
Pump Up the Jam - Technotronic
Seven Nation Army - White Stripes
It's Beginning to Get to Me - Snow Patrol
SexyBack - Justin Timberlake
Touch the Sky - Kanye West
The Old Black Rum - Great Big Sea
Girlfriend - Avril Levigne
Here in Your Arms - Hellogoodbye
In Your Arms - Mylo
Little Fluffy Clouds - The Orb
Alive - Edwin
Break My Stride - Matthew Wilder
Just Like a Pill - Pink
Youth of the Nation - P.O.D
Rehab - Amy Winehouse
Call on Me - Eric Prydz
Mambo #5 - Lou Bega
Helicopter - Bloc Party
Livin' on a Prayer - Bon Jovi
Boom Boom - Venga Boys
Stacy's Mom - Fountain's of Wayne

THAT'S right. My playlist pwns. Muah.

Vancouver

Dear Vancouver,

It's me, Margaret. Ok. I'm not Margaret....but considering what I'm about to tell you, an alias might be helpful. I've found the best way to begin hard conversations is just to jump in, so here we go.

I'm over you, Vancouver. SO over you.

Over your noise, over your general sketchiness, over the immense hassle it is to even breach your city limits, over your skytrains (which aim to kill me every time I near...an impressive feat since I spend all of 30 seconds on them), over the PCL busses that bring me to you, over the endless and always substantially late ferries (which actually bring me nowhere near you; hence the PCL hating), over your well dressed and suspiciously beautiful population, over your hostels (where people walk into my room at 1am. Really, is it too much to ask to not assign rooms twice? Apparantly so, in Vancouver.), I'm over your sea-to-sky factor (even though it has nothing to do with me), and I'm over your crappy Subway. That's right, even your franchise sub shop sucks big ones, to be eloquent about it.

I like my island. I like the sketchiness in moderation, ease of transportaion, lack of skytrains (ok, maybe that's a lie. They'd be kinda nice). I like my hippie-polar-fleece-wearing semi-gorgeous mountain folks (who are still suspiciously beautiful, but somehow granola makes it all better) and my own apartment (with it's locks that no one else has keys to). And most of all, I like my still-below standard but predictable crappy island Subway.

I know it's been a short courtship; some may wonder if I've even really given you a chance. But Vancouver, here's the truth. I've learnt all I need to know. You're just not for this island girl.

I'm not one to mak rash decisions, however, so listen up, Vancouver. You've got six months. That's right, six months. Six months to fix your transit nightmares, move geographically closer to Victoria, solve your generaly sketchiness, find some ugly and poorly dressed people to populate your boundaries, teach me how to teleport, and most importantly of all, deal with your sub sandwich crisis.

You may think this is a bit of a challenge, and maybe it is. But hey, perk up...It's something to take your mind off of all that Olympics business.

So, we'll see Vancouver, we'll see. This is your warning...I've got other suitors on the horizon!

All the Best,
Margaret (aka Molly.)

RITE EXACTLY WHATS ON YOUR MIND, AND DON’T CHANGE IT

1. Your ‘ex’ and You= I wish
2. I am listening to= my stomach making weird noises
3. Maybe I should= take some advil.
4. I love= yes, yes I do.
6. I don’t understand= why there can't be 27 hours in a day
7. I have lost my respect for= A lot, this month.
8. I last ate= won ton soup.
9. The meaning of my display name is=right now it's springsteen lyrics
10. God= "is watching us" (song lyrics...ahem.)
11. Someday= Over the rainbow...
12. I will always= swim.
13. Love seems to= lift us up where we belong (more song lyrics)
14. I never ever want to lose= My control of the Free World Order.
15. My facebook is= addictive, invasive, and generally bad. bad facebook, bad.
17. I get annoyed when= I have a headache for two months.
18. Parties= are non-existant in my life.
20. Simple Kisses= as opposed to complicated ones?
21. Today I = worked. and then worked some more. Oh, and worked.
22. I wish= I could spend a whole day sleeping. But not really. I wish I could go on vacation.

IS YOUR/ARE YOU
01. is your hair wet?: no
02. is your cell phone right by you?: in my pocket
03. do you miss someone? Mmm kinda.
04. are you wearing chapstick? Yes, actually.
05. are you tired?: Beyond tired. Whole new kind of tired.
06. are you wearing pajamas?: haha yes. I'm doing my "I'm tired and cold and sad so I'm wearing pajama bottoms under my jeans". No, seriously. I am.
08. are you mad? Kinda.
09. are you upset? Moderately so.

HAVE YOU
01. recently done anything you regret? Yes, but it wasn't my fault.
02. ever lied? of course, who hasn't at one point or another.
03. ever stuck gum under a desk?: probably.
04. ever kicked someone?: Maybe.
05. ever tripped over your own feet?: Nope. Well, maybe once. or twice.

TODAY HAVE YOU:
01. have you cursed?: Mmm I don't think so.
02. have you gotten mad at someone? Gotten mad? no. Maintained being mad? yes.

-RANDOM-
Q: is there a person who is on your mind right now?: Unfortunately.
Q: do you have any siblings? Not so much. Well, one that I've adopted as such.
Q: do you want children? That would be a no.
Q: do you smile often? I try to
Q: do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?: hahah no.
Q: do you like your handwriting? It's kinda immature looking.
Q: are your toenails painted?: YES, miracle of miracles.
Q: are you a friendly person? I think so
Q: who’s bed others than yours do you sleep in? I sleep in lots of random beds. Well, that sounds bad. I travel a lot, ok? hotel beds are my friend. Especially when they're big. and squishy.
Q: what color shirt are you wearing? Gray
Q: what were you doing at 7pm yesterday? working
Q: I can’t wait to: not be sitting at my desk. (yes, i'm at work. I'm on a lunch break. And I worked on my day off. Like I have for the past 4 weeks. Blah blah.)

Oh my.

Hmm. Well I guess I didn't blow the interview with NextUp as badly as I thought I did; they offered me a spot. And I'm taking it. And I'm insane.

Here is an example week:

Monday Nov 5th - Work 9am-2pm. Catch 3pm ferry to Van. Bus into Downtown. Meet from 6pm-9pm. Spend the nite (somewhere in Van...).

Tuesday Nov 6th - 9am ferry. work 11-6.

Wednesday Nov 7 - Leave for CR with Outspeak.

Thursday Nov 8 - Workshops in CR

Friday Nov 9 - Workshops in CR.

Saturday Nov 10 - 7am ferry to Van. Meet 10am - 9pm. Spend the nite.

Sunday Nov 11 - Meet 10am -6pm. 9pm ferry. Get home 1am ish.

Monday Nov 12- Work 9am-2pm. Catch 3pm ferry to Van. Bus into Downtown. Meet from 6pm-9pm. Spend the nite (somewhere in Van...).

Tuesday Nov 13 - Bus to 9am ferry. Work 11-6.

Wed Nov 14 - drive to Campbell River.

Thur Nov 15 - drive to Courtenay

Friday Nov 16 - Drive to Victoria

Sat - Sun Days off

Mon Nov 19 - Work 9am-2pm. Catch 3pm ferry to Van. Bus into Downtown. Meet from 6pm - 9pm. Stay overnight.

Tuesday Nov 20 - 7am ferry to vic. Go to work. Drive to Port McNeill.

Wednesday 21 - 3 workshops in Pt. McNeill.

Thursday 22 - 3 workshops in Pt. Hardy

Friday 23 - Workshop in Campbell River. Drive home.

Sat 24 - 7 am ferry to Vancouver. Meet from 10am-9pm. spend the nite.

Sunday 25 - Meet from 10am-6pm. Catch 9 ferry home. Bus home. (1am ish)

Monday 26 - Work 9am - 2pm. 3pm ferry to Van. Meet 6pm-9pm. Spend the nite

Tuesday 27 - 9am ferry. Work 11-6.

I have two days off between Nov 5 and 27. Two days in Victoria.

I have lost my mind. I have lost it.

Went to Vancouver yesterday for my NextUP interview. It was a 13 hour day for a two hour meeting...I don't know if that's something I want to do on a weekly - and sometimes twice weekly - basis. We'll see. I find out if I get offered a spot by tuesday.

The interview itself was interesting...There were 7 of us being interviewed by 5 interviewers. I was waaaay out of my league; 3 masters students, one law student, one PhD student, and two holders of multiple post doctorate degrees. Scary.

We played the temperature game...with questions about leadership, politics, climate change, social justice, and other really difficult questions. Then we had to justify all of our answers.

Individual interview went less than spectacularly....I talked my head off, and I don't think I actually said anything. Who knows. It could go either way.


Sick....I'm so sick. I've been sick for a week, and I feel no better than I did the first day. It's nasty.

Anyhow. I have nothing else to say.

Everything in my body says not tonight
Everything in my body says no
What will bring me home?
What will make me stay, stay?
What will bring me home?

I travel around the block
And I'm not looking to my right
I feel the glass against my cheek
And I can't see you in the light
I break my heart around this

Tell me that you know
Another way to get it done
It's not me
But it's a different situation
A different situation

Tame me.