Friday, October 26, 2007


Dear Vancouver,

It's me, Margaret. Ok. I'm not Margaret....but considering what I'm about to tell you, an alias might be helpful. I've found the best way to begin hard conversations is just to jump in, so here we go.

I'm over you, Vancouver. SO over you.

Over your noise, over your general sketchiness, over the immense hassle it is to even breach your city limits, over your skytrains (which aim to kill me every time I impressive feat since I spend all of 30 seconds on them), over the PCL busses that bring me to you, over the endless and always substantially late ferries (which actually bring me nowhere near you; hence the PCL hating), over your well dressed and suspiciously beautiful population, over your hostels (where people walk into my room at 1am. Really, is it too much to ask to not assign rooms twice? Apparantly so, in Vancouver.), I'm over your sea-to-sky factor (even though it has nothing to do with me), and I'm over your crappy Subway. That's right, even your franchise sub shop sucks big ones, to be eloquent about it.

I like my island. I like the sketchiness in moderation, ease of transportaion, lack of skytrains (ok, maybe that's a lie. They'd be kinda nice). I like my hippie-polar-fleece-wearing semi-gorgeous mountain folks (who are still suspiciously beautiful, but somehow granola makes it all better) and my own apartment (with it's locks that no one else has keys to). And most of all, I like my still-below standard but predictable crappy island Subway.

I know it's been a short courtship; some may wonder if I've even really given you a chance. But Vancouver, here's the truth. I've learnt all I need to know. You're just not for this island girl.

I'm not one to mak rash decisions, however, so listen up, Vancouver. You've got six months. That's right, six months. Six months to fix your transit nightmares, move geographically closer to Victoria, solve your generaly sketchiness, find some ugly and poorly dressed people to populate your boundaries, teach me how to teleport, and most importantly of all, deal with your sub sandwich crisis.

You may think this is a bit of a challenge, and maybe it is. But hey, perk up...It's something to take your mind off of all that Olympics business.

So, we'll see Vancouver, we'll see. This is your warning...I've got other suitors on the horizon!

All the Best,
Margaret (aka Molly.)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I agree.